Mothers bolting home from work to switch from exhausted employee into bottomless well of comfort know how demanding the transformation is. At least many of them have a schedule that coincides with the rest of the family.

Not so in the restaurant business. Around the time the rest of us drag through the door and throw off our shoes, women chefs and restaurateurs are just gearing up for the prime offensive of their working day. While their children are coming home from school with a knapsack full of homework assignments, science projects and a need for comfort and a warm meal, the mothers are finishing the prep work on the fish entree, confirming reservations or giving the wait staff the final rundown on the night's specials.

Some restaurant mothers feel guilty, some restaurant children feel deprived. But the life also has its plus side: children with wide-ranging and eclectic tastes, women with independence and self-sufficiency. As chef-restaurant owner Carole Greenwood observes, "I don't have to answer to anyone."

With Mother's Day approaching Sunday we asked some key mothers in the Washington restaurant scene to share their thoughts -- and their favorite recipes.

All in the Family

Gladys Abi-Najm enjoyed being a restaurant child. Her family fled the war in Lebanon in 1976, opening the Lebanese Taverna, which served Middle Eastern food, on Washington Boulevard in Arlington in 1979. All five children worked there after school and still do, supporting the family business.

When they first arrived here, "My family didn't speak English. The customers helped us do our homework," she says. Luc, her first child, is 8 months old. He comes with her to the offices beneath the Market, Lebanese Taverna's delicatessen and cafe in Arlington, going from employee to employee while Abi-Najm organizes cooking classes and the company design. "I want to be a businesswoman, but I also want to be a full-time mom."

The family now has four restaurants: on Connecticut Avenue NW, in the Congressional Plaza on Rockville Pike in Maryland, at Pentagon Row in Arlington and the original Arlington site. On Friday and Saturday nights, when she hosts at Pentagon Row and Arlington, and on evenings when she runs the cooking classes, her husband, Xavier Deshayes, executive chef at the Ronald Reagan Building, is the "night parent," responsible for Luc.

With two cooking parents, Luc is easy to feed, eating everything American, Lebanese or French, according to Abi-Najm. "He just loves hummus." In addition to her husband's help, her whole family is on standby, making her job flexible enough that she doesn't anticipate conflict between Luc's schedule and her own. "I want to keep that for our family," she says. "I want to have that togetherness with my kids, that closeness. It takes a village," she says with a laugh, "a Lebanese village."

Foie Gras for a Toddler

Brioche stuffed with foie gras is fine for Ellen Gray's son, Harrison, 3 1/2. According to his "fishetarian" mother, Harrison is "so particular -- but adventurous. He will try everything."

Married to Todd Gray, chef at their downtown restaurant, Equinox, Ellen started bringing their son to the restaurant three weeks after his birth, parking him in his stroller at the busboys' station to sleep. As he grew older, she rented office space above the restaurant and turned it into a room for him, with an Oriental rug, dimmer lights and the prep cook to watch over him. Now in preschool full time, he has just begun peewee soccer, with games on Saturday mornings, so both parents can attend. Ellen is needed at work less on Friday or Saturday evenings, so, "My happy hour is Friday nights with him on the porch," she says.

A block from the White House, Equinox serves innovative, contemporary American food based on seasonal ingredients. As restaurant owners, the Grays can pick their time off. They spent Easter week at Disneyland and they close the restaurant for major holidays. And if you've ever wondered why Equinox isn't open on Sundays, it's because that is family time. "Our only night of the week," says Ellen Gray.

The parents of Harrison's school friends have been a terrific support, according to Gray. "I call them and say, 'There's something I have to do at the restaurant, can you take Harrison and I'll catch up later?' We pay them back a few times with meals at the restaurant."

Life With a Teen

Chef Alison Swope knew that motherhood would change her life even before Zachary was born, when she was chef at New Heights in Woodley Park.

During her pregnancy, Swope developed gestational diabetes. "The biggest problem was food tasting. My blood sugar levels went crazy." She had to call in her levels to a nurse several times a day and give herself insulin injections. The doctors also wanted her to lie down for a half-hour during the day. But in a restaurant, Swope says, "There's nowhere to go. So I took a blanket to work and lay between the tables between lunch and dinner."

It was no easier after Zachary was born. "Trying to maintain breast-feeding, I would go into the dry-storage closet and use the breast pump. I put the milk in the freezer till the staff brought it out and said they wanted to make a flan of it."

When Zachary was about 9 months old, Swope put him in day care. "A kid bit him, left a tooth mark on his cheek. I thought, 'What am I doing?' My kid is bitten and I'm feeding strangers."

When he reached school age, "I made lots of stuff for Zachary's lunch box," she recalls. "His crazy mother, giving him chickpea spread, pitas with sprouts and God knows what. I found out he was exchanging them with other kids' lunches and realized I was fighting a losing battle."

When Swope's marriage ended, Zachary went to live with his father. She sees him every other weekend and does her best to attend games, piano recitals and other extracurricular activities. "It's hard to get away during a service period," she says. "Zachary is acutely aware of my job and the time it takes. He's very conciliatory and says [his event] is not important. Usually, when he says it that way, I know I have to go. He has an appreciation for how many hours I put in for my job. He says that hasn't been something that made him suffer."

These days, Zachary, 15, is a sophisticated eater and loves to have his mother's contemporary Mexican cuisine at Andale, in downtown's Penn Quarter. He sometimes cooks for her, though his mother admits that "not many people cook for chefs."

"There have been many, many times I've asked myself why I am doing this. But women make the choice between career and family all the time in lots of jobs. For me, what else could I do?"

A Different Recipe

"My sons hated it," says chef Nora Pouillon of her life as a chef-restaurant owner. "They told me they wished I had never started the restaurant. But when I left home, I had suddenly to support myself." Alexis and Olivier were 9 and 7 when Restaurant Nora opened near Dupont Circle. Seven years later, after a 10-hour Valentine's Day shift, Nina, her daughter with partner Steven Damato, was born. Seven years after that, Nadia was added to the family. Asia Nora, a seafood restaurant, opened on M Street NW as the City Cafe in 1994.

School assignments can be an issue. "My sons," recalls Pouillon, "say they would come home from school and I was never there to help with homework." Eventually they came to the restaurant to do it.

"We spent time together there. I fed them. They had contact with waiters and busboys that was important. Some helped them with the homework. It was a different experience from their friends. Basically, they socialized in the restaurant. But, no, I couldn't take them to the doctor or to activities."

Pouillon is known for her organic cuisine. Though Nadia began her young life in the family consuming only bread and butter, both daughters are now true believers in organic food. "They buy everything organic," says Pouillon -- "popcorn, pretzels, makeup."

Her daughters are now old enough to go to activities with a driver and reheat food left over from special events at the restaurant.

What working women have to do, Pouillon says, "is establish the kind of relationship that you are not the mother who goes to the games, but like a good friend where no matter how little you see each other, you can go right into the same slot."

Grandparents Play a Role

Carole Greenwood of Greenwood Restaurant has raised 13-year-old Dylan by herself. Until two years ago, her son spent every night at her parents' house and she saw him only on weekends. "Some days I feel tremendous guilt," she says. "But I made a clear choice to do this on my own."

Five days after his birth, she returned to the Charlottesville restaurant where she was chef with him in a laundry basket. When she took a job as a chef in Georgetown, she had to place him in day care and with her parents at night, and finally with them all week. "I felt tremendous guilt."

After she launched Greenwood, her own restaurant (first in Cleveland Park, now in Chevy Chase, D.C.), she got a call one Friday. "Dylan had broken his leg sledding. I dropped everything, took him to the hospital. He was supposed to get out Saturday night. I work Saturday nights. I had Peter Jennings and Mstislav Rostropovich coming for dinner. So I had to leave Dylan in the hospital. It was absolutely wrenching."

Two years ago they moved together to a new house. Now she can watch him, like any teenager, "freak out on a Saturday night in the restaurant kitchen as he asks, 'Why can't I go to the movies!' "

On weekdays Dylan makes his way to the restaurant after school to do his homework and have a snack, before taking himself home on the bus. For his mother, juggling responsibilities is tough. "The school calls me for the PTA Wednesday night at 8. I work! Once there was a music performance Dylan was singing in and I had a party here for 200. I left as soon as I could -- and it was over."

Her son's tastes in food is not especially exalted. Subway or pizza are his after-school snack. "Dylan doesn't eat the food in the restaurant," says his mother. "He doesn't like it."

Home When She Can Be

When Sallie Buben, a preschool teacher, met Jeff Buben, he made it clear that he always wanted to open a restaurant. Their children were 12, 6 and 1 when Vidalia, with its Southern cuisine, was launched downtown.

Sallie, "a real believer a mother ought to be at home," was helping to run the business and also running the family, mowing the lawn and cleaning the house. "A lot of people thought I was a single parent."

In those days, "I had a neighbor look after the children," says Buben. And Sarah, the oldest, would help with Mac, the youngest. Her children were brought plenty of boxed restaurant food. They were easy to feed. "Eat or you starve," was Buben's philosophy.

In September 1998 they opened Bistro Bis near Union Station, serving classic French bistro cuisine. That very tumultuous day, her housekeeper quit.

Running a restaurant is "a tough life," says Buben. "People perceive it as a lot more romantic than it is." Still, in some ways, the restaurant is like a family. One staff member is the emergency contact on call for the Buben children. "The staff is incredible," acknowledges Buben. "Without them it would be a nightmare."

Sarah, 22, graduates from college this month. Alex, 17, is coaching 9-year-old Mac's baseball team. Alex is a good cook, but Buben confesses to mixed emotions about his joining the business.

For the last six months, she has managed to be home more, working on menus and the restaurants' Web site.

"It was apparent that I need to be there. Nobody takes the place of me looking [the kids] in the eye and saying, 'What are you doing?' "

Oven-Roasted Rockfish With Three-Colored Peppers

(4 servings)

Nora Pouillon's children have grown to appreciate their mother's organic cuisine, such as this rockfish, which she serves with steamed new potatoes.

3 tablespoons olive oil

1 medium onion, thinly sliced

2 teaspoons minced garlic

1 green bell pepper, seeded and cut into thin strips

2 red bell peppers, seeded and cut into thin strips

2 yellow bell peppers, seeded and cut into thin strips

1 cup chicken stock or white wine

2 to 3 tablespoons finely chopped assorted fresh herbs (such as thyme, oregano, rosemary or parsley), plus additional for garnish

Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Pinch saffron (optional)

11/2 to 13/4 pounds center-cut rockfish (may substitute wild salmon), skinned and cut into 4 fillets

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. Have ready a 9-by-13-inch or larger baking dish.

In a very large skillet (or 2 medium skillets) over medium heat, heat 2 tablespoons of oil. Add the onion, garlic and bell peppers and cook, stirring frequently, for about 3 minutes. Add the stock or wine, herbs, salt and pepper to taste and, if desired, saffron and bring the mixture to a boil. The mixture will be very liquid. Remove the skillet(s) from the heat; pour the peppers and liquid into the baking dish.

Pat the fish dry and season with salt and pepper to taste. Set aside.

Wipe the skillet clean and place it over medium-high heat until nearly hot but not smoking. Add the remaining 1 tablespoon oil, add the fish, skinned-side down, and cook without turning for 1 to 2 minutes. Using a spatula, place the fish on top of the pepper mixture, seared-side up. Transfer the dish to the oven and bake until the fish flakes easily and is opaque throughout, about 10 minutes per inch of thickness.

To serve, spoon the bell pepper mixture onto individual plates, place a fillet on top of each mound and garnish with fresh herbs.

Per serving: 329 calories, 35 gm protein, 17 gm carbohydrates, 14 gm fat, 61 mg cholesterol, 2 gm saturated fat, 247 mg sodium, 4 gm dietary fiber

Kafta Bel Snayeh

(Lebanese Meatloaf)

(6 servings)

Gladys Abi-Najm of Lebanese Taverna makes this moist, heavily spiced meatloaf for her family. The amount of red pepper flakes may be decreased for young palates unaccustomed to spiciness.

Vegetable oil for the baking dish

For the meat mixture:

3/4 pound lean ground lamb

3/4 pound lean ground beef

1/2 onion, finely chopped

1/2 cup fresh parsley leaves, very finely chopped, plus additional for garnish

1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Pinch ground allspice

11/2 teaspoons crushed red pepper flakes

1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon ground white pepper

1 tablespoon finely chopped garlic

1 to 11/2 teaspoons salt

For the topping:

2 russet (Idaho) potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/4-inch-thick slices

2 tomatoes, seeded and cut into 1/4-inch slices

1 cup tomato puree

1 teaspoon salt, or to taste

1/4 teaspoon white pepper

Crushed red pepper flakes to taste

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Lightly oil a 8-by-12-inch baking dish.

For the meat mixture: In a large bowl, combine the lamb, beef, onion, parsley, black pepper, allspice, crushed pepper, cinnamon and white pepper. Using a mortar and pestle or on a cutting board using the flat side of a knife, mash together the garlic and salt. Add the garlic mixture to the meat mixture. Transfer the meat mixture to a food processor and process until smooth.

Scrape the meat mixture into the baking dish, using a lightly oiled rubber spatula to smooth the top.

For the topping: Place the potatoes over the meat, overlapping the slices slightly. Place the tomatoes over the potatoes, overlapping the slices slightly. In a bowl, combine the tomato puree, salt, white pepper and crushed pepper flakes. Spread the puree evenly over the tomatoes.

Bake the meatloaf for about 60 minutes, until the potatoes are tender. Set aside to cool for at least 10 minutes. Cut the meatloaf into squares or diamonds and sprinkle with chopped parsley. Serve hot, warm or cold.

Per serving: 352 calories, 15 gm protein, 22 gm carbohydrates, 22 gm fat, 73 mg cholesterol, 9 gm saturated fat, 534 mg sodium, 3 gm dietary fiber

Curried Tofu

(4 servings)

If you ask Ellen Gray's 31/2-year-old son, Harrison, what his favorite food is, he replies "Tofu!" Gray, of Equinox, persuaded him to try the nutritional powerhouse by dipping cubes of golden fried tofu into anything from ketchup to a peanut butter sauce. Freezing the tofu, then defrosting it before using it imparts a light, spongy texture that is entirely different from regular firm tofu.

16-ounce package extra-firm tofu, frozen and defrosted

About 3 tablespoons butter or olive oil

Salt to taste

2 bell peppers, any color, seeded and thinly sliced

1 yellow onion, thinly sliced

8 ounces mushrooms (any variety), coarsely chopped

14-ounce can unsweetened coconut milk, shaken

Slivered almonds

2 teaspoons curry powder

Freshly ground black pepper to taste

Squeeze the excess water from the tofu. (Gray wraps the block of tofu in a dry dish towel and presses it between her palms to squeeze out any excess water.) Slice the into bite-size cubes. Set aside.

Have ready a plate lined with paper towels. In a large skillet over medium-high heat, melt the butter or heat the oil. Add the tofu in a single layer (may have to cook in batches) and cook, turning frequently, until golden brown on all sides. Transfer to the plate; season with salt.

Return the skillet to medium heat, add additional butter or oil if necessary, add the bell pepper and cook, stirring, until softened. Transfer to the plate with the tofu. Repeat with first the onions, then the mushrooms.

Raise to medium-high heat, return the tofu, bell pepper, onions and mushrooms to the skillet along with the coconut milk, almonds and curry and cook, stirring, until the liquid is thickened and reduced by about half. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Per serving: 494 calories, 16 gm protein, 17 gm carbohydrates, 42 gm fat, 0 mg cholesterol, 25 gm saturated fat, 102 mg sodium, 5 gm dietary fiber

Smothered Chicken

(4 to 6 servings)

Sallie Buben, of Vidalia and Bistro Bis, prefers to do the preparation work for dinner early in the morning before she starts her work day. Ideally, she exercises while the boys are getting ready for school, takes them to school and then starts dinner preparations.

3- to 4-pound whole chicken, cut into 8 pieces (may substitute chicken parts)

Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

3 tablespoons butter

2 cups thinly sliced sweet onions, such as Vidalia

2 cups (about 8 ounces) thinly sliced shiitake mushroom caps (may use any mushroom)

3 tablespoons flour

1/2 cup dry sherry

21/2 cups chicken stock or broth

1 teaspoon finely chopped fresh thyme

2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh parsley

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Rinse the chicken and pat it completely dry. Season the chicken on all sides with salt and pepper to taste.

In a large Dutch oven or ovenproof skillet with a lid, over medium-high heat, melt the butter. Add the chicken and cook, turning as necessary, until golden brown on all sides. Transfer the chicken to a plate; set aside.

With the skillet and drippings over medium heat, add the onions and mushrooms and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onions are golden brown and the mushrooms give off their liquid. Sprinkle the flour evenly over the mixture and stir to coat. Add the sherry, stock or broth and thyme and stir to combine. Return the chicken to the pot, skin-side up, cover and bake until the chicken is cooked through, about 45 minutes.

To serve, transfer the chicken to a platter. Skim off any fat from the surface of the sauce. Pour the onions, mushrooms and sauce over the chicken. Sprinkle with chopped parsley.

Per serving (based on 4, including skin): 788 calories, 74 gm protein, 15 gm carbohydrates, 44 gm fat, 269 mg cholesterol, 14 gm saturated fat, 410 mg sodium, 2 gm dietary fiber

Cheese Grits

(4 servings)

These hearty grits are one of Dylan Greenwood's favorites recipes. His mom, chef Carole Greenwood of Greenwood, recalls that the recipe came about during Dylan's white food phase -- that is, when he ate only pasta, potatoes, chicken, vanilla ice cream and popcorn.

Though Greenwood uses a smoked cheese -- either white cheddar or Gouda -- the grits are equally tempting when made with a standard sharp white cheddar or young Gouda.

1 cup heavy (whipping) cream

8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter

1/2 cup old-fashioned (not quick-cooking) grits

1/2 cup grated cheese, such as white cheddar or Gouda

Salt to taste

In a saucepan over low heat, heat the cream and butter until the butter melts. Whisking constantly, slowly add the grits in a steady stream, whisking until completely incorporated. Increase the heat to medium-low or medium and simmer gently until the liquid is absorbed and grits are thoroughly cooked, 20 to 30 minutes. If the grits appear to be dry, add a little water, 1 tablespoon at a time.

When the grits are completely cooked, stir in the cheese, remove from the heat and, using a wooden spoon, stir until the cheese is completely melted. Season with salt to taste.

Per serving: 572 calories, 10 gm protein, 14 gm carbohydrates, 54 gm fat, 180 mg cholesterol, 34 gm saturated fat, 325 mg sodium, 1 gm dietary fiber

Julia Watson is a Washington freelance writer. Her guide to local foods can be found at www.eatwashington.com.